Today I listened to the song, “Vienna” by Billy Joel, for the first time in its entirety and to say I really needed to hear that is an understatement.

I’m 28 years old (literally about to be 28 1/2 in 3 weeks, crazy!) and I’ve been experiencing my quarter-life crisis. Spoiler: it’s not fun! Without getting too much into details and just like many other twenty-something-year olds, I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and stressed out about what is my purpose and what I can do for the rest of my life. It’s extra stressful for me because when I was younger and in college I knew what I wanted to do and be, but life derailed those plans (as life does sometimes).

While I’m older now and I’ve grown more as an adult, I’m still as overwhelmed but the only difference is that I’m more self aware. Shout out to my therapist after 3 long years! I realized that what I’m currently doing isn’t fulfilling and I’m not tapping into my potential, but as I’m trying to decide what I want to do, my fears take over. What if I chose the wrong path? What if it doesn’t work out? What if I have to sacrifice more than what I’m willing to give? What if I become financially unstable again? What if it’s too hard? What if it takes too long? What if? What if?? What if???

It’s an exhausting cycle to be in. I’ve been at my current job for a good amount of time to where the idea of changing things up is both scary but exciting. In my situation it’s necessary but I’m holding onto the reins too tight. Plus, the fact that I feel like I have to figure so much out right now is even more stressful!

Why do we do this to ourselves? My parents were supportive but they didn’t give me much direction as a kid. They just kept telling me “as long as you get a job,” which is so vague. Part of me is glad that I had the freedom to explore different hobbies, majors, and jobs, but the other part of me wishes that I had more guidance and a better game plan. But such is life, right?

I started thinking about my future, not just career-wise, but my future family and I think that’s where some of the pressure is coming from. I want to do things differently than how I was brought up. It’s crazy because I’m not even married and I’m not having kids for a long time so why am I acting like this all needs to be figured out by tomorrow??

When I listened to “Vienna” it was the first time in a while where I actually stopped and paid attention to the lyrics and how it made me feel. Billy Joel is right: “slow down, you’re doing fine…” even when it might not feel like I’m doing enough, I have to remind myself that I am. I have to remind myself that I’m currently living the lifestyle that younger me a few years ago wanted.

We all want the best for ourselves and I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. It’s both sad and comforting that so many people can relate. But I can’t wait for the day where I don’t feel like this anymore.